CHERRY PHARM: Infomercial Review

CHERRY PHARM: Infomercial Review

For once I actually watched an infomercial after I've already sampled the product being advertised. It's a good thing, too. I already know for a fact that Cherry Pharm is a super product that does exactly what it advertises. But if I'd waited until I saw the commercial, I would have been completely insulted.

The commercial starts off by making me dizzy. We have a bunch of weird spinning special effects with voices echoing in the background. So they're going to sell me a health product by making me throw up?

Then a guy comes on and says "It" is pretty close to a miracle food. So I'm thinking.....pizza?

Then a lady says, "I can't tell you how much my life has changed since I started drinking this." So I'm thinking.....Budweiser? (Hey, like it or not, if you drink a lot of it, it does change your life).

But no, the miracle, life-changing food is Cherry Pharm. We're told it contains 50 whole cherries in one bottle of juice. We're also told it has two complete servings of fruit. Now I'm no math giant, but if 50 cherries equals two servings of fruit, that tells me there are 25 cherries in ONE serving.

TWENTY-FIVE MOM! Boy did I get ripped off all those years as a kid, when Mom gave me about FIVE cherries. My dear mother cheated me 20 cherries per meal!

I was slightly ticked off when they said that fruit flavored powders are not "the key." I'm a big powdered-drink fan. The Kool-Aid Man and I are best buds from way back. But I couldn't disagree: Kool-Aid just hypes me up, but Pharm Air energizes me during the day and helps me rest at night.

That's the other big benefit they promote for Cherry Pharm in the ad: it helps you sleep at night. To be honest, this is not needed for me. I can fall asleep while EATING 50 cherries, never mind waiting until after they take effect.

The other thing that kind of offended me about the commercial is that Jack Edwards tells me over and over "I'm Jack Edwards." Yes, Jack, I remember you from 60 seconds ago when you told me your name. Are you hoping that Cherry Pharm will also improve my memory?

Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go to sleep. I'm betting I can do it on only two cherries tonight.