CARDIO TWISTER: Infomercial Review

There are TV commercials about fitness products for men and there are TV commercials about fitness products for women.

Cardio Twister is meant for both mean and women.....but as this commercial demonstrates, it's hard for a man to "twist" his way to fitness and still look macho. Something just looks positively unmanly in those twisty moes they perform.

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Cardio Twister, by the way, is an outstanding device that my niece uses regularly. It's this thing you step up on and using the handles, you--well, you twist. Great way to shed pounds. But guys--you'll want to use it inside, where you can't be seen. Not like the idiot in this commercial who moved this thing outside right by his swimming pool (Bad idea, not only because his neighbors can watch, but because one wrong twist would throw him in the water).

Still, the infomercial does its best to try to appeal to the guy. It starts with a single male in the front row surrounded by women on both sides. Hey, forget the twisting, this is any man's fantasy, right? Well, except for the fact that the gym where they're twisting looks like a disco straight out of the 1970s. They should twist to the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive," and the effect would be complete.

One thing I really don't get. At the end of the commercial, they announce that if you "order now," they'll also send you a DVD showing how to twist.

Hmm.....How hard can it be to twist your body back and forth? Why the need for an instructional DVD? And if it's really that hard, what about the poor people who don't "call now," but wait a week? Will they be forever looking at their new Cardio Twister, not knowing how to use it?

It could be a dilemma for eaven the macho-est of macho men.

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Cross Crunch Infomercial Review

CROSS CRUNCH: Infomercial Review

Sigh. I guess I have to go watch the commercial for the CROSS CRUNCH exercise device again. They gave me 45 seconds to call and get this great deal on the product...and started this little timer. I didn't make it to my phone in the 45 seconds. Time ran out. But hey, I was watching it on the computer, so brilliant guy that I am, I'll just restart the video and give myself another 45 seconds! Bet they never thought of THAT loophole!

Cross Crunch is one of the few exercise products I've actually decided to order. It looks great. Especially the part where they say you can exercise while watching TV. Hey, that's what I do best.

“12 to the left and 12 to the right and you're done in 90 seconds!” That's what they claim about Cross Crunch. But to be honest, it would take me 90 seconds just to get out of my chair to go get the Cross Crunch. They might have to adjust it to “done in 90 minutes” for me.

At first the announcer said I can have this for two payments of $29.99 each. “But wait!” he said. Don't worry.....I was waiting. There's always a “But wait, there's more” moment, so I already knew. I waited and he told me, because I'm such a nice guy, he's going to make one of the payments for me. Now it's only ONE payment of $29.99. And I appreciated that so much that I'm tossing in the extra penny to make it an even $30.00. I'm just that kind of guy.

Two things I don't get about the commercial: 1) Why does everyone smile while exercising? Why does everyone in EVERY exercise commercial smile? I never smile when I exercise. It has something to do with the intense pain. 2) Why is it when they show women using the Cross Crunch, they show real people, but when they needed to show a guy, they used a computer animation? Are we just theorizing that at some time a guy might actually want to use the product?

We'll I'll show you. I'm a guy and I plan to order and use the Cross Crunch. Then you can show ME on your next commercial. You'll just have to help me off the couch.