BIG TOP CUPCAKES: Infomercial Review

Finally, an infomercial I can get behind! In a late-night world full of commercials for diet products, healthy-eating contraptions, and exercise equipment, the commercial for Big Top Cupcakes is just what the doctor DIDN'T order--but I did.

In case you're not sure what a Big Top Cupcake is, let me give you an illustration. Think of your typical cupcake. Then think of a birthday cake. Now think of a cupcake as big as your birthday cake. That idea, together with all the sugar and fat it brings, is a Big Top Cupcake. So this product is what you need to create these huge and clever-looking confections.

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Maybe too clever--especially the commercial. Am I the only one who, when I heard the announcer saying "Feeling like a fool when your cakes aren't cool?" thought immediately of that AMERICAN IDOLS song, "Pants on the Ground"?

"Hey, get your pants off the ground
Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways
Pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat
Looking like a fool

Walkin', talkin', with your pants on the ground."

We could easily add, "Feeling like a fool when your cakes aren't cool, cake's on the ground and your pants on the ground."

Okay, back to the commercial. As they bring out these huge cakes, with their smiley faces and cute animal decorations, the announcer tells us these are "25 times the size of regular pancakes." Somewhere in there is a BEVERLY HILLBILLIES gag that just missed its time. Can't you see Jethro saying he's going to the kitchen to get a cupcake, and coming out with cupcake the size of a basketball?

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Titan Peeler: Infomercial Review

I'm always fascinated by the names they give to products that are sold on those late-night infomercials. For instance, do you remember the GINSU KNIFE? I'm positive that no American knows what 'ginsu" means, but just think it sounds Japanese. And for some reason, maybe pertaining to samurais and ninjas, we think of sharp blades when we think of Ginsus. There was also the Veg-a-Matic, which did indeed slice vegetables, but since it was totally hand-powered, there was nothing automatic about it.

And now we have the Titan Peeler. "Titan" means "giant; big and powerful." So of course, one of the selling points of Titan Peeler is that it's so....SMALL and easy-to-handle. Makes perfect sense in infomercial-land.

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This is one of several infomercial items I have personally bought. I did it because I'm lazy and Titan Peeler does a great job of slicing and peeling things in considerably less time. But I bought it before I saw the commercial. Good thing, because the commercial would not have caused me to buy.

For starters, I'm insulted by their having this guy with an Australian accent promoting the product. In fact, more and more people think that British or Australian accents are good for selling food products. Am I, because I'm American, considered inept in the kitchen? (I'm a total expert with the microwave).

But the one part of the commercial that I like is the question that opens it: "Do you want to peel and slice vegetables in an instant?" To which I reply, "No, I don't want to peel and slice them at all."

But since NOT peeling them is not an option, doing it faster is better than nothing. And that's why I love the Titan Peeler. Because laziness is my curse.

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Nuwave Oven Infomercial Review

Does anybody out there really like taking more time to cook his or her food and end up with it tasting bland and full of fat? I don’t think so. That is why I feel the Nuwave Oven is so incredible. I do not currently have one, (although I soon will I hope) however, I was at a buddies house and his mom made everything we ate practically in the Nuwave Oven. As we sat down at the table to enjoy the food we had been smelling and salivating over for the last half hour, I was blown away at the spread of options. (It is no secret why college kids like to go home) I asked, “Man, this must have take you forever to cook all this? That’s why I only cook one thing and not a bunch of sides and what not.” She just kinda looked at me funny and said, “It wasn’t that hard.” I was baffled, how could so much deliciousness come from the kitchen?

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Well, she showed me and it answered it all. The Nuwave Oven was sitting right there in the middle of the counter and she proceeded to tell me how much healthier the food is because it drips off more fat, and how much quicker it is because of the, and I quote her, “Three methods of cooking,” that she proceeded to explain in depth to me. As I look back at the situation, I kinda laugh a bit because it really was just about as corny as the scenarios you see in the infomercials. But it all made so much sense.

I don’t think that the Nuwave Oven is going to turn me into this master chef with a repertoire of food selections to make, but if it is going to cut my cook time and make the food delicious while all being easier on me, it is sold.

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ZOOM MARINATOR: Infomercial Review

My wife hates it when I'm in the kitchen when she's trying to cook. I'm the guy running my fingers into the cookie dough, sampling the chili while it's still in the pan, and sneaking a deviled egg while she's not looking.

So here's my question: if women like my wife hate us being in the kitchen while they're cooking,why do they order so many fun devices that make guys like me want to play with them? Remember the Veg-O-Matic? It never worked, but it sure was a lot of fun!

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And now my wife bought the Zoom Marinator. This is a device with so many fun things to play with. It keeps things fresh by offering this pump that you push in and out to suck out all the air. I found myself wanting to "freshenize" things just to use the pump. Hey, here's some water! Let's keep it fresh! My wife was not impressed.

Then there's the contraption that you push down on top of your meat or vegetables that injects the food with whatever you want injected...."fifty flavor pins," according to Chef Tony. I think this was the last straw for my wife. She did not appreciate the baked potatoes injected with hot sauce. Oh well.

By the way, who is this Chef Tony guy in the commercial anyway? He looks like the greasy chef who works at every truckstop diner you've ever seen. Makes good looking food, though--if he in fact made the food in the commercial.

I'm glad my wife ordered ZOOM MARINATOR (even if they did misspell "marinater"). It's one of the best ways for guys like me to have fun in the kitchen.

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